Apart from the fact that our portraits make us look like rubber ducks, we really are carbon-based oxygen-burning living and breathing bipeds. If for some reason you would like to talk with us go ahead give us a call. We don't mind. Heck it's your dime and we'd probably like to talk with you. It's not like we sit around waiting for the phone to ring. But if you call and we answer, then take that as your invitation to talk.
If you're the kind of person that would prefer to write you can either e-mail us, fax us or use an envelope and the US mails. In any case, most of us are pretty heck darn literate and can read most anything (even if we don't always spel thangs rite). Granted the written word is on the wane, but then again so is satire and any humor other than bathroom jokes and riddles.