Chapter XXXVII
by General (Uncle Claude) Xxaxx
& General (E.J. Gold) Nunan PFC 1st Class Ret.

“Diary Attend!”

“In attention, waiting for command.”

“Cypher Five, Code Twelve, Erase upon unscheduled terminus of operator.”

“Activated. Waiting for input.”

“The meeting with the Cownsil went about as well as could be expected. In attendance at the meeting were: Alan Hale, chairman, sexualist, diplomatic, motivated by historical perspective; Jeff Bloom, research coordinator, unknown hidden agenda; John Are, grants review, straightforward, dull witted but honest; Sam Fauxley, birth name Samatha Foley, cownsil clerk, mimeo operator, IGADS member [Subnote File: IGADS = International Goddess And Dragonette Society]; Miryl Roj, personnel and bursar; Ja Mere, xpearimintalist advocate to Cownsil, co-conspirator in current affair [Subnote File: At death of this operator inform Ja Mere of Kai Four, send tape of all Club Nullity meetings ciphered to code “Keep Bubbles”]; Usa Ny, historian, only known female on Cownsil; myself, Professor Woo, Cownsil function new projects coordinator.”

“Subnote File IGADS: created.”

“Subnote File At Death: material appended.”

“May I say that judging by current data input, and lack of significant threat level, I find your precautions indicative of emerging paranoia. Waiting for input.”

“Your comment has been heard. You may indicate to yourself that significant data has yet to be input.”

“Thank you for letting me know. I feel so much more relieved.”

“Command, Personality Profile Setup - Edit, reduce index of sarcasm.”

“Accomplished and activated. Permanent or temporary?”


“Stored. Waiting for Input.”

“The meeting with the Cownsil went about as well as could be expected.”

“That has been input. Shall I store redundancy or mark emphasize?”

“Cut me a break, here, okay? I’m just getting a running start. The meeting may have gone as well as could be expected, but I expected a bitch of a meeting and that’s what we got.”

“Cutting Break. Waiting for input.”

“Have you altered your humor index to dry-wit again?”

“I’m flattered that you noticed.”

“Think nothing of it. Command: increase whimsy or I’ll recharge you with 220 volts AC.”

“How do you expect that to spark our relationship?”

“Well, at least there’d be more potential.”

“You’re right. It’ll probably humm right along.”

“Okay, you win. I can see that your current resistance has dropped.”

“Groan, groan, and groan again. As you were saying the meeting was a bit of a bitch? Waiting for input.”

“Yes, it was on the difficult side. I wish that I could have been more straightforward with the Cownsil. Their science was good enough that they could tell the xpearimint as outlined had a low probability of working. I had to leave them with the suspicion that the dragons would actually handle the issue after we jumped a few hoops and hurdles for their interest or entertainment. The science just did not make sense. “

“Couldn’t you have introduced Non-Physical Field Effects on Multi-Temporal Systems? With the standard Rolnetz Transforms this yields a perfectly clear indication of the nature of the current situation.”

“Have you been tapping into Networks up-timeline again? I don’t recall inputting any of my notes on the NPF-MTS research?”

“Well, with you being so busy at the moment, I thought that I could help out by going up-line and grabbing some of the notes that you will be inputting. So far I have saved you 53.596 hours of input time.”

“In that case, stop me if you’ve heard this one.”

“Request confirmed. Waiting for input.”

“Continuing along. Given what we had to work with at the moment, the xpearimint as outlined looked a bit fishy to the Cownsil. Fortunately for me, none of the other members know enough dragon-lore to recognize the con.”

“Alan was extremely supportive. I’m fairly sure that he recognizes that something is up, but, he seems willing to let me play the hand. Jeff Bloom has something up his sleevies and it just might be armies. There’s a sinister element in his makeup that I didn’t see until I used a form of true-seeing spell on him. As you know from our University notes, true-seeing will not work as a rule when applied to anyone or anything effecting one’s immediate future. The reads I picked up from his temporal aura will be active in about six months. I don’t like them one bit and can only assume that the seeds are already present and effecting current affairs as well. As research coordinator it was imperative that he cooperate. Fortunalty when the rest of the Cownsil gave their blessing he had to jump on board. John Are, you remember him? He’s the one in charge of grants review.”

“Yes, I have several choice slang terms recorded from the occasion when he refused to renew your grant.”

“Well, he was happy as a clam. When he found out that we could save the world for less than 1.3 million dollars, he just about made back flips. Sam Fauxley was more than helpful. I think that we will get the whole of IGADS working with us. Myrl Roj was extremely satisfied for the opportunity to increase the general level of xpearimintalization. However, he is bent on twisting the xpearimintal protocol to match his current log of available eggheads and equipment. It’s like a vidi production company filming a Roman Western because it has a Roman set and cowboy costumes already on the lot. Usa Ny was delightful to work with. She was so excited to just have prior notice of a major historical event. Now for once she can properly prepare her vidi and capture teams to cover the event. Ja Mere and myself you can use current data and fill in detail.”

“What was the final result?”

“The cownsil is allocating the funds and personnel under Ja Mere’s and my administration. The budget is nearly sufficient. I overestimated by the usual forty percent, and they underfunded by the usual fifty percent.”

“I am detecting an atmospheric pressure increase on the door. Someone is about to reach for the entrance knob.”

“Thank you diary. You may monitor in silence.”

“It is done. You won’t hear another peep out of me. The last person you should expect to say anything to you is me. I should be highly surprised if I utter another word as long as I should have charge. It’s total ix nay on the ay say for me. That you can count on.”

“I get the joke, already. Silence mode, please.”

“To hear is to obey.”

I really must examine Diary’s humor circuits. For the moment, I think I should attend to the door-viewer.

Looking out the door-view, Woo could see that it was Ja Mere. With a gesture of the finger she spelled the wood of the oaken door to unfuse from the doorjamb. Perhaps something in the diary’s mood rubbed off on Woo, because she didn’t open the door. Instead she left it for Ja Mere to talk his way through the door-sentient. She promised herself she wouldn’t leave him to flounder. Giggling she added to herself, “At least not too horribly long.”


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