Chapter XXXVIII
by General (Uncle Claude) Xxaxx
& General (E.J. Gold) Nunan PFC 1st Class Ret.

�Hello! Would you like to petition entrance from the registered inhabitant of this domicile?�

�Who or what are you?�

�I am a door, you silly. Pardon me a moment, I shall have to readjust my expectation of intellectual competence for humans . . . . . . . . . Thank you for waiting. What may I do for you?�

�You can start by announcing my presence to the inhabitant of the household.�

�She already knows that someone is at the door.�

�Does she know that someone in specific is here?�

�How can I know that? I�m programmed as a door, not a mind reader.�

�Have you announced my specific presence?�

�How could I? I don�t know who or what you are, specifically.�

�Perhaps you should inquire. Wouldn�t that be a nice subroutine to run about this time?�

�Isn�t that a hint of sarcasm I detect within your vocal structure?�

�Good. I am glad to see that your recognition circuits are working. Can you also recognize a crow-bar and sledgehammer?�

�Oh yes. Professor Woo has introduced me to the sledgehammer, just before my recent rebuild. You don�t have one on you, do you?�

At this point the door opened to reveal Professor Woo doubled over in laughter.

Looking up Woo was able to pull herself together just enough to greet her guest, �Ja Mere, what an unexpected surprise.� Sending herself into another fit of laughing.

�Professor Woo, How nice to see you. Have you thought about getting a second house? � One for visitors and one for your door. Where did you find such a wondrous device? I would like to avoid that particular vendor in the future.�

�I made it myself from a clone of my diary�s personality matrix with slight modifications. Quite exasperating isn�t it?

�As understatements go, that one is right up there with Perhaps cyano-acrylic is not a good toothpaste additive. Now that I�ve quite forgotten what I came here for, perhaps we can proceed.�

Reverting to a third level formal form of politeness, Professor Woo invited Ja Mere into the house. �Please, be so kind as to enter my humble abode.�

Stepping through the momentarily open portal, Ja Mere responded with a second level response of comically sharp agreement and retort. �If you are trying to win my forgiveness, just lend me a crowbar and give me five minutes alone with this door.�

Having thus satisfying the rudiments of advanced culture social custom, they could now get down to business.

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R.S.V.P.

© Copyright 1997 Slimeworld & Galaxy Magazine -- All rights reserved --

© Copyright 1997 Slimeworld & Galaxy Magazine -- All rights reserved