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NASA fails to photograph orbiting socks and paperclips! Millions of socks and paperclips are orbiting the Earth and scientists have no idea how they could have gotten there!

Expert sources reveal dolphins and whales have been hurling thousand of socks into space each day in an attempt to seal the hole in the ozone layer. This unprecidented effort by two of Earth's more intelligent species is perhaps the only chance we have to avoid terminal sun tans. Physicist Oliver Tough says "If we can understand the chemistry of high altitude intimate apparel and office supplies we have a chance to break through the impass that has held science since the vaccum tube was abandoned at the turn of the century."

It is unclear where the paperclips are coming from, but in the words of Mrs. James "I just know that my husband couldn't be losing that many socks it's either something in the dryer or God knows what..." Well Mrs. James you will be proud to know that your husband's socks are going to a good cause. And, perhaps the next time you reach for your hair spray you might ask yourself "is it really worth a pair and a half of dress socks or thirty six pair of disposable knee-highs?"

  New Attack on Cancer Medical science is fighting back at the nation's number one terror, cancer, in the only way they know how.

The new experimental treatment consists of a direct attack on the diseased cells using laser guided missles developed during World War II. The Gulf War more then proved the effectiveness of this new technology. Now it's time to apply this God send to peace time purposes.

Patients thus treated could bring the cost of hospitalization and therapy down by some 87% on medicare programs. As an added advantage it gives the military the opportunity to test and perfect its weaponry outside the battle field.

Identical Twins That Look Alike

Total strangers not only look like identical twins, they look like John Fitzgerald Kennedy. Mustafa Siam, of Cairo, Egypt, left photo, and Barry Livermore of West Pacoima, New Jersey, right photo have never met. Believe it or Forget About It!

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