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BardoTown Gazette Front Page
Class Action Suit Nears Filing
The law firm of Hugh Holdem & Al Hittem Attorneys at Law is nearing the final stages of filing for a class action suit against Ken Starr. The class action is being brought on behalf of "human beings" who are suing to enjoin Ken Starr from referring to himself as human. In addition Hugh Holdem is seeking $1 in damages for defamation of character by presumed association. "We feel that every man, woman and child living deserves a token $1 as compensation for any defamation of character they may have suffered by Ken Starr claiming to be of the same genus species. In addition to the roughly $6 billion we are asking him to cover the cost of postage. We think a $1.32 isn't much to ask given the psychic and psychological suffering folks have had to endure just pondering the question of his possibly belonging to the same species."

In related news the H.H. & A.H. law firm has been hired by aquatic pond scum. Although Mr. Hittem couldn't speak freely about the case he did have this to say, "They seem to feel that references to Ken Starr as a slimeball are defamatory to themselves."

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