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ETERNAL LIFE GUARANTEED!- Only 29.95 if you order NOW! NO RISK...try it FREE for 10 days! Send SASE,check,money order.(No stamps.) AAA Bonding, Valence, OHH 435490

ENGLISH-DOLPHIN DICTIONARY- only $12.95 Dolphin half of this priceless, VoLume comes with handy portable aquarium. Box 79.

YOUNG CAL-TECH GRAD. Interested in using Nikolai Tessla's theories to Deeactivate electrical systems in world's Nuclear missile stockpile wishes to meet mature female with similar interests. Object: sex. Box 97.

ORGONE BOX WINNEBAGOS! Beautiful deluxe trailer-campers converted into Portable Reichian orgone vaults. Recharge your ionic potential while on the road. Heal body while camping. Box 562.

ACHIEVE THE CONSCIOUSNESS OF A CAT! Learn the astounding truth! Superior beings have found the assumption of the cat-form very suitable for exquisite meditations, For free info. write: ChowChowChow Box 695.

AVOCADO REPELLENT. Useful for Avocado herd zones. Box 55.

MONOFOCULAR CRYSTAL BALLS. Slightly defective: only reveal events ocurring during the eve of the coronation of Emperor Julian of Rome. No reasonible offer refused. Box 716.

DOG ITCH? Try being human next time around. Box 35.

  IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! With the Blameometer, you can immediately detect the cause of your problems quickly, bringing temporary relief. Needs no batteries; patented process creates self-generating excuses constantly. Box 48.

GUARANTEED $1000 a day without training, skills. Must have driver's license, free to travel suddenly. Box 57.

MOEBUS STRIP BOW TIES! Guaranteed to open the throat chakra. Box 45.

PERSONAL Anyone who knows the whereabouts of Brother Twelve, please contact Jude S. Cariotte. (525) 689-73339.

ANIMAL MEMBRANE PYRAMIDS. Guaranteed organic. Specify naugahyde or buffalo. Attracts omega-gamelon rays and/or tics. Box 68.

CAN'T SLEEP OR REST? Me neither. Write to Elmer's All-Night Chess Club, Box 740.

STOP SMOKING PAINLESSLY. New painful smoking method really works. Box 501.

EMBARRASSED BY WARTS? Now you can have this ancient secret, after using this method, you'll be proud to have warts! Additional Wart-Maker and catalog free to first 100 who send in. Box 59221.

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