Bardo-Chat Webbening #5

Highlights from Morris' Comedy Club.

dittybop:

Jeez, guys, take seats at the tables, willya?
Don't hang out up there on the lights.
You born in a barn?

You guys must think you're the comics.
This happens to be open mic night,
and you're elected to be funny, or be reborn!

So, come on up!....BE FUNNY OR ELSE!

 

dj:

Three buddhists go to Gates of Heaven,

St. Pete says, "Tell me what easter is, and I'll let you in."
1st buddhist says, "it is when you sit with family and eat lots of turkey."

St. Pete says, "No, Go."
2nd buddhist says, "Big fat guy in red comes with presents."

St. pete says, "No, Go."
3rd buddhist says, "When Jesus goes on cross for world's sins, is put in cave for 3 days, then comes out of cave, sees his shadow and goes back in."

 

sw3:

Your mamas so fat she has to wake up in sections.

Your mamas lips are so fat chapstick had to come out with a spray.

 

sf-btc:

A little boy asks his mom, "Is god male or female?"
The mom says, "Both."
The boy asks, "Is god black or white?"
The mom says, "Both."
Then the kid asks, "Is god gay or straight?"
The mom is concerned, but says, "Both."
Then the boy asks, "Is god Michael Jackson?"

 

mo:

Gd Evenink.Wuz walkin inna field the other day and I heard a very strange sound... it went sisss boom baa. I thought it was a crowd of crazed cheerleaders.

Ran into a farmer though, "Hey you got some crazy cheerleaders around here?"

"No," he sez, "haven't you ever heard the sound on a sheep exploding?"

 

can:

So, she says to me I keep having these dreams, one nite I dream I'm a tee pee the next nite I dream I'm a wig wam. So, I says to her it's obvious, honey you're, two tents

 

val:

The other day i got tired of everyone telling me how ugly i was, so i took some advice and went to the beauty parlor and got a mud pack on my face. It worked for three days everyone told me how much better I looked, then the mud fell off.

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R.S.V.P.

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