BUY DUTCH & SAVE $$$$!!! NO RESERVE, SPECIAL FUN OFFER FOR MY EBAY FRIENDS!!!

"SEND MONEY OR THE FAIRIE DIES!!!"

SUPER-CUTE "MANGELSEN" GARDEN FAIRY which doubles as AN INCREDIBLE TREE OR BUSH ORNAMENT-- IT HAS A NICE, REMOVABLE POST FOR STICKING IN YOUR LAWN. READ BELOW FOR THE WHOLE STORY:

"Honey, there's a fairie in our garden," my wife muttered in my ear as I lay sleeping peacefully, thoughts of work and stress completely out of my jurisdiction for the duration...I woke up sweating. Fairies in my garden.

My first thought--they'll wreck our Prize Dahlias. Without a second thought, I reached for the old WEATHERBY .300 MAGNUM-EXPRESS ELEPHANT GUN I keep out in the toolshed for home defense, used bottle plinking, fast-draw contests and, of course, the occasional garden varmint....

It was a beautiful, clear night, almost a full moon; I had a clear shot, checked my field of fire, clicked off the safety, snicked back the bolt to load a round, raised the butt of the stock to my shoulder, breathed out, took aim, and slowly started to squeeze off my shot, when suddenly, my wife shrieked, grabbed my arm and wham! My concentration was shattered!

I duly snicked the safety back on, and turned toward my wife, who by this time was forcing the muzzle toward the ground--a dangerous thing, should the device go off...hasn't been cleaned since that NEPAL TREK back in 1967.

"No! No!" She had me in a Bear Grip that Hulk would'a been proud of, her face a mask of grief. "Put that thing down! Don't you DARE shoot that fairie!" she all-but-yelped in my ear.

"Listen," I growled between clenched teeth, raising the Weatherby and clicking the safety on again."This is no time to be sentimental," I replied. "Those are our Prize Dahlias, and if that little son of a..."

"Now, now," she soothed, holding her hand in front of the muzzle--once again, not a good idea when it comes to things like this antique piece..."Listen," she pleaded, "what if, instead of shooting it, you...you captured it???"

"Captured a fairie?" I chortled. "What on earth would we do with a fairie?"

"I don't know," she sighed..."what about...what about... well, uh....selling it on eBay?"

Hey, NOW she was talking! I went out and captured a whole bingy-bongy bunch of them, and I got a couple dozen more traps set for tonight!

So that's the whole story, and if somebody doesn't buy this little critter, why...I guess we can use it for medical experiments, or something. Good luck bidding, although it's really the fairie who needs the luck, isn't it???